Lack jokes
Dogs are better relationship partners than you. Wanna know why? They're loyal, patient, love unconditionally, smart. Traits you clearly lack, you cheating ass bitch.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
Why can't Paris play chess? Because they don't have their towers (also known as rooks).
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
My girlfriend got COVID.
This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
I would say life's a joke, but I can't, because jokes have a meaning.
Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?
Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.