Limited jokes
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
What do you call a group of emos?
Limited Edition.
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).