Absent jokes
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
My dad is like a unicorn.
He's never here. :c
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
ALWAYS ME
My dad left me.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.