Know jokes

What do you call an animal that knows karate? Moose Lee 😊😁

I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.

Who names their dog Donuts?

Oh, sh**! I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.

He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well, neither did she!

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.

What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?

I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!