Know jokes

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.

He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?

The ant knows where home is.

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

Why are orphans so bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house looks like.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.