Know jokes

If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.

Do you know why I hate pedophiles?

They are fucking immature kids!

I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!

Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?

Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.

Did you know Kurt had dandruff?

Found his head and shoulders behind the couch.

Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.

For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?

"Chancel culture!"

Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no-Bell prize.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

Why do orphans suck at web design?

They don’t know what a home page is.

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

How do you know if an Asian is a failure?

Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.

Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”

Because it stands for family.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.