Know jokes
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home plate is.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
Memes
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.