Know jokes
In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.
She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."
The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What is the most famous dish in Africa?
Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
Did you know Kurt had dandruff?
Found his head and shoulders behind the couch.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
You know all these hairline jokes are good but are very rude, but your hairline is built like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.