Know jokes
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?
The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
Wanna know the last words of the south tower?
"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
You know what? I know five fat people, and you're four of them!
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!