Kid jokes
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.
A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.
Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!