Kid jokes
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.