Kid jokes
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
Where did Hitler send kids with ADHD?
Concentration camp.
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
This keeps getting better have a GREAT DAY
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"