Kid jokes

What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?

The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.

(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)