Kid jokes
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the kid.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.
Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.