Kid jokes
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Make a wish.
Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.