Kid jokes
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
Memes
I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.
Except it had no home button.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Can emo kids get happy meals?
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the kid.
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.