Kid jokes
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.