Kid jokes

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.

Son: Really?

Also 2 hours later:

Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.

Mom: Son, I-

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

Kid #1: You're adopted.

Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

Me: What's yellow and can't swim?

My sister: What??

Me: A school bus filled with kids.

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

Funny jokes are like kids with autism.

They have special needs to make them.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

Vote for the better joke!

What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?

Autistemist Prime.

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.

I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.

Orphan: "What family?"

I would stop bullying the orphan kid, what's he gonna do? Cry to his mommy?