Kid jokes

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who’s there?

Kid: Not your parents.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.