In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Kid Jokes
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
