Kid jokes
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.