Kid jokes
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.