Kid jokes

Kid: I want to be Batman.

Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.

Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?

He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?

The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who’s there?

Kid: Not your parents.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.