Kid jokes
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
Why did I get a divorce, you ask? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't get me a present and didn't even wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my co-workers didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" That moment, I felt so special. She then asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay," I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, and my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.
Like if you're not a gay.
Dislike if you're furry.
Repost if you HATE blacks.
Comment for VBUCKS.
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What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.