Kid jokes

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

Some time later me fighting with my mom:

Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

Lesson?

So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?

They ate the bat!

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

What do you call a white kid at the back of class?

A school shooter.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

How do you name a Chinese kid?

Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"

Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?

Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?

A grape chilli bean.

Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.

What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

He got ran over by a bus.

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

So he could get into high school.