Kid jokes
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
Vote for the better joke!
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
I would stop bullying the orphan kid, what's he gonna do? Cry to his mommy?
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"