Kid jokes

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?

Dad:

Kid #1: You're adopted.

Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

Me: What's yellow and can't swim?

My sister: What??

Me: A school bus filled with kids.

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

Funny jokes are like kids with autism.

They have special needs to make them.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

Vote for the better joke!

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

I would stop bullying the orphan kid, what's he gonna do? Cry to his mommy?

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

Kid: Hi.

Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?

Kid: Why are you rude?

Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.