Kid

Kid jokes

AK

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

Hypocrisy

Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

Some time later me fighting with my mom:

Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

Lesson?

So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?

Name

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

Bee

These are bee puns.๐Ÿ

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!๐Ÿ

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.๐Ÿ

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Stone

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Emo kid

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

Detention

I got detention one day. I donโ€™t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

Name

How do you name a Chinese kid?

Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"

Jimmy Savile

Whoโ€™s more excited than a kid on his birthday?

Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.

Cut

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

Sex

A kid goes to bed with his dad because heโ€™s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

Rape

Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.

Game

There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!