Kid jokes

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

Roses are red, I'm off the grid,

John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.

This is a bad one but why do orphans hate their life even more in 2021?

Cause kids just laugh at them...

Why did the kid cry?

His dad didn't get the milk.

What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?

The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)

The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)

Thanks for reading this...bye!

Billy and Nanny have 2 kids.

Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?

A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."

The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."

August 2020: LeafyIsHere gets terminated on Youtube for harassing Pokimane.

Billy, a toxic kid in Leafy's fanbase: "Imane's life is a joke, that's why I call her Jokeimane."

A person who simps for Pokimane: "And you look like you came from a farm, Hillbilly."

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?

My best friend.

Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.

I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.

Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?

Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.

Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.