Kid jokes
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
gordan ramsey
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!