Kid jokes
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
What do you call Thanatos' favorite app on his phone?
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."