Kid jokes
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “How do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)