Kid jokes
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
all kids
What do you call Thanatos' favorite app on his phone?
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?
A zombie Apocalypse!
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟