My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Dora, where do we go next?
Kids at home: Area 51.
Meanwhile,
Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.
1 day later,
Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!
Kid amogus backwards.
SUGOMA DIK!
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"
Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
Ur mum geiy 69 dinner 42 es dee get rekt kid 360 quikskope biatch!
Have a sink in your house? Eat it.
Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.
Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.
...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Time for double joke Tuesday.
What is a bird's favorite letter?
A C gull.
So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.
Kid: You're a dick, you know!
Me: And you're a pussy, you know?
"Akeld" sounds like a 56-year-old man just picking on kids for no reason. I say, get a life!
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.
Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."
What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war *cold war*
