Kid jokes

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

What do you call Thanatos' favorite app on his phone?

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

Why do apple trees like emo kids?

Because they like to play yoyo with them.

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

Friends = your power level.

Emo kid = power level: 0000.

I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.

What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.

BofA deez nuts!

He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D

Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.

"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"

"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."

"It won't matter, he's deaf."

Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f

* * *

ssssssssssss

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).

I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.