Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
BofA deez nuts!
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
ssssssssssss
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D
Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
What do you call a bunch of bi racial retarded kids, the special Olympics
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
kidnapper: hey kid, ur mom told me to follow me. orphan: but I don't have a mom
