Kid jokes
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
FOR REAL
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday? They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.