Kid jokes
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Dude, ABC, what comes next?
Kid: A big fat noob.
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
Memes
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
What do you call your kids?
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
Dora, where do we go next?
Kids at home: Area 51.
Meanwhile,
Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.
1 day later,
Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!
Kid amogus backwards.
SUGOMA DIK!
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
