Kid jokes

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?

Because they have cancer.

Dad, why are we here?

Because you're not loved.

"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."

Me: Hey, I have candy.

Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?

Me: Some of deez nuts.

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

"Rosex, why you search that?" Does it mean "Roblox sex?" Kid, stop!

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

Jorden Calerendiá.

I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.

A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.

Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

Imagine being an orphan. *kid beside me crying*

What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.

If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?

Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?

Nerd: Because they're marsupials.

Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!

This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.

If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?