Kid jokes
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
My kid had an accident.
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.