Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. đ
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
Dad, why are we here?
Because you're not loved.
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
Me: Hey, I have candy.
Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?
Me: Some of deez nuts.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesnât cut itself.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
Who can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
What's an emo black kid called? A dark Drakie.
Kid: Why arenât koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didnât have the koala-fication!
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
What fell first, the emo kid or the leaf? The leaf, 'cause the emo kid just hung.
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?
"Rosex, why you search that?" Does it mean "Roblox sex?" Kid, stop!
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.
