Kid jokes

How many fat people are in my house?

20, counting the kids in the basement.

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

What do you call your kids?

Dude, ABC, what comes next?

Kid: A big fat noob.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.

What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?

Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)

What do you call a bruised banana?

A school bus full of his kids.

What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?

A toolbox.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.

Kid amogus backwards.

SUGOMA DIK!

Dora, where do we go next?

Kids at home: Area 51.

Meanwhile,

Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.

1 day later,

Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!

My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.

Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"

Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.

Me: Imagine not having hair.

Kids: On chemo.

Bitch the fuck.

What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"

Who make hard candy for the kids?

Solve.