Kid jokes
Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
POV ME
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D
Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.
BofA deez nuts!
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
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ssssssssssss
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!