Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"