Kid jokes
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
How do Asians name their kids? They drop spoons and forks down the stairs. Chin Chan Chon.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Where do religious kids practice sports?
In the prayground.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.