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Kid jokes

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

  • 1

    • Alle kinder hedder Rune, undtagen Kurt, han hedder Rune.

    All the kids are named Rune, except Kurt, he is named Rune.

    I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

    I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

    So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.

    Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.

    Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?

    Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.

    Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.

    Dad: 🦆

    Kid: ?

    Dad: 🦆🦆

    Kid: Huh?

    Dad: Ur too late...

    Kid: WHAT!

    Dad: .... GOOSE!

    A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

    Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

    Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

    Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

  • 0

    • Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.

    What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

    Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

    So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

    Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

    How do Asians name their kids? They drop spoons and forks down the stairs. Chin Chan Chon.

    What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.