Kick Jokes

My son wore his new 'Go Vegan' Hoodie for the first time today and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked & spat on!!!! And he's not even left the house yet!!!

mate. my wife susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift? xx

I was doing some karate the other day at the studio

They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui”

What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years? He kicked the bucket.

Q : Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?

She was standing way too close to the dancers.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My mom told me to help her with the laser but it was opposite day so I pushed her down. She said help so I kick her

Um honey I'm glad your done but um WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I"M PRETTY SURE FACES DON"T BEND THAT WAY!!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A man ask to play kick the bucket ( not death). The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt.Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other ones foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff which brings the man with it. LOL

THE END

What will happen if someone kick you right in the balls? You will be like ow my nuts.

Why can't a orphan play kick ball be cause the can't hit the home plate

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread waiting for a traffic jam

Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show

He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare

Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept

Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it

Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not. Not yet says little Johnny so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, I saw you kick the chickens so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either. Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says you want to tell him or should I?

Ur the bus driver, the busy driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven picks up a women with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and burried his mother. Who’s the bus driver You will never nose