Kick jokes
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!
US Marine: Knock knock!
Al Qaeda fighter: Who's there?
US Marine: (Kicks down door, throws grenade, opens fire) FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the library?
Because he was too loud with his FLOW.
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
My junk was in the book of world records until I got kicked out of the library.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.