Kick jokes
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
I'm psychicking your butt.
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If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?
Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?
P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
Chuck Norris can kick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever had.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
What does "Keo" stand for?
Kick Elmo more.