Your friend took a shower and used Pantene but i got a watermelon to keep me clean
kys (keep yourself safe)
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, What is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHIT- UP!!! ( shut up)
Hello, I am Alan Shawn Feinstein. I would like to know who the owner of this website "worstjokesever.com" is. I am interested in buying this website. Please respond to me in the comments or email me. Thank you, and keep doing good things.
roses are red my pencil is blunt, parrot trapped on roof keeps telling fire crew to f*ck off
BlessedBrian is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Teacher-what does the pig's skin do ? Student-it keeps pig skin together 😂
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak.
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mine?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals, the people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up!
Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...lets see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes but they all just crash and burn.
How do you keep am Idiot I'm suspense?
Answer; I'll tell you tomorrow!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How do rappers keep their breath fresh?
With some FRESH BEATS
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his RHYME TIME
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick
The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."
Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."
At this point the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!!"
Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.
The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."
