Joke jokes
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
You're a joke!
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?
"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?
Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.
I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...
But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"