Joke jokes
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
What is a homeless person's favorite joke?... Themselves.
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.