Joke jokes
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What is a homeless person's favorite joke?... Themselves.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!
Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?
Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.
I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...
But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"