Joke jokes
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
Yo' mama is a joke.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
What is a homeless person's favorite joke?... Themselves.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!