Joke jokes
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
Why didn’t the moon eat dinner?
Because it was full! 🌕
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
Yo' mama is a joke.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
What is a homeless person's favorite joke?... Themselves.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.