Joke jokes
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?
"Hey BrO!"
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
I sit because I can't stand you.
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.
Arik? (Not a joke.)
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
Why did Daveon go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.