Joke Jokes

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Most Likes: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5aea13992886f22c3e98bd88/why-are-priests-called-father

Most Dislikes: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5a6f42308b40a83af3dda515/today-was-a-terrible-day

Worst Dislike Ratio: https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5b5293efa5535a611745773c/guys-go-ot-httpsworstjokesevercomjokes5b3937c1a328f6072c316bd6hey-guys-who-wants-to-play-roblox-with-me-we-can-go

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All records are as of March 11th, 2021.

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?

I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"

So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."

He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"

Trump said: "Let's make America great again."

Translation by Democrats:

"Let's fake America again."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!

What the hell is this website? Do you all think these jokes are funny?

The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Ki­li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.

Why do people shake cigarette boxes?

To wake up the cancer.

So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!

My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.

You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.

Why did Sally fall dead?

Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!

What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.

What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?

Uranus!

(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she was in a wheelchair! 🤣🤣

Why was 9 afraid of 20?

Because 28, 29.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Por que.

Por que who?

"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!