Joke jokes
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
None of these jokes are funny.
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.
The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.