Joke

Joke jokes

Baby

What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Hippo

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.

Phone

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

Ligma

Man says, "What's Ligma?"

Woman says, "Ligma balls!"

Baby says nothing, she transgender.

Friend

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.

Orphan

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

Baby

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

Dog

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

Nun

Man: How tall is a penguin?

Bartender: About three foot, why?

Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

Poor car.

People

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?