Joke jokes

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

How does the cop respond to being called racist?

He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?

Punchlines.

Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.

If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To drop some STREET KNOWLEDGE on the other side.

BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.

Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.

What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?

"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"

Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?

Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.