Joke jokes
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
September 11th. #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay