Joke jokes
If you're depressed and you're crying, like this joke.
Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?
You can hear a hormone.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.