Joke jokes
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?
Boi Ling.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.