Joke

Joke jokes

Blind guy

So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.

A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."

Cutting Board

My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.

Friend

Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.

Incest

What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?

I don't know.

Neither do I, but it runs in the family.

Memes

Name

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

Single

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

Bear

So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz

Helen Keller

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."

Skeleton

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts to do it.

Place

Person: I broke my arm in three places.

Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.

PMS

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Mom

Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!

Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!

Mom: ❓❓❓