Joke jokes
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
Memes
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
Best political joke... Joe Biden.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.