Joke jokes
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Memes
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What's the difference between a black dad and a boomerang? A boomerang comes back.
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.