Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Joke Jokes
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What's the difference between a black dad and a boomerang? A boomerang comes back.
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
