Joke jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.

Two husbands walk into a bar.

The first one says, "My wife is an angel."

The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."

What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?

Answer: Hair Force One!

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell shocked.

I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.

I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.

I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

What do you call a dead baby?

Spawn killed.

What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.

Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!

I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?

The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.

What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.

Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.