Joke jokes
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?
Father's Day.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.