Joke jokes

What's the difference between a black dad and a boomerang? A boomerang comes back.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

I was always poked and told at weddings your next...

So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.

What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.

"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.

Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?

I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

What makes an ISIS joke funny?

The execution.

What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.

How can you surprise someone who is blind?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.