Joke jokes

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

CURRY in a hurry.

What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?

A minor.

Me: I look up to you.

Friend: Wow, thanks!

Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, cause they'll screw anything.

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?

A: A beaver dam.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?

He wiped.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.

What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?

They both like cracking open a cold one.

My grandma asked me if I could visit her.

I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?

Flat neck road.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.