Joke jokes
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
Want to hear a joke?
Fortnite.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
I can tell a joke :)
Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
I never get school shooting jokes.
Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."