Joke jokes

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?

billie: hi.

me: You wanna hear a story?

billie: Yes, sure.

me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.

What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?

Special forces.

Btw, I'm 13.

The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."

Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.

What do you call a depressed group of kids?

Suicide squad.

What is a cannibal's favorite food?

Crackers.

What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.

What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.

PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."

I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."

What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?

Taxi.

Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?

Because they always come out clean.