The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
Joke Jokes
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic. Hehe.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
What do you call a depressed group of kids?
Suicide squad.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
