Joke jokes

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

I named my horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?

billie: hi.

me: You wanna hear a story?

billie: Yes, sure.

me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.

The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.

These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.

Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."

Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"

Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"

Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"

Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!

What do you call a depressed group of kids?

Suicide squad.

My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.

Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.

Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.

I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.