Joke jokes
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
perfect stats
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
I don’t think 9/11 jokes are funny... they just crash and burn.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.