Joke jokes

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.

I named my horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.

Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.

Who will be told? Oh wait.

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"

If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?

billie: hi.

me: You wanna hear a story?

billie: Yes, sure.

me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.

The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.

Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.

What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.

My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.

What do you call a depressed group of kids?

Suicide squad.

I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!