What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Joke Jokes
it's not rape if we're both screaming
I tried to catch fog, I mist...
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?
Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
