Joke jokes
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.
Want to hear a joke about prostitution?
Never mind, it's whoreable :)
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
Have you seen the new movie Constipation?
You haven't?
That's because it hasn't come out yet.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
it's not rape if we're both screaming
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."