Joke jokes

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

What do you call a retard in a house fire?

Flame Retardant.

I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

My life.

My life who?

My life is depressing...

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

I tried to catch fog, I mist...

Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

Mom: Exactly!

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

What did the blind man fight in the bar?

The coat rack.

What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?

Because they go down so well.

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.

Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

A: It left him/her/them hanging.

One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.