Joke jokes

I tried to catch fog, I mist...

Son: Mom, what is dark humor?

Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!

Mom: Exactly!

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.

You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

What did the blind man fight in the bar?

The coat rack.

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?

Special forces.

Btw, I'm 13.

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.

One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

A: It left him/her/them hanging.

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?

Because they go down so well.

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.

What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?

A small medium at large.

I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.

What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?

Oh sheet!

What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.