Joke jokes
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."
I shot her, now we wait.
what do you call a terrorist attack in india?
a wednesday.
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
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What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?
My dick.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay man's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"