Joke jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
Memes
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
It's only rape.
If she finds out.
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
THIS IS A RHYME
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.
Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,
and they had a little fun.
Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
"_____ abortion clinic, you rape it, we scrape it.
_____ sperm bank, you spank it, we bank it."
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.