Joke Jokes

One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."

Friends: comments give reason.

Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."

Day later:

Mom: Let me see your TikTok.

Me: Shows her the video.

Mom: calls suicide.

JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.

What do sex and food have in common?

My sister makes it better than my cousin.

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?

A Kit Kat.

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?

An avalanche.

Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

A: Either way they'll kill your dog.

My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.

“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”

I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.

Found out I’m worth $3.97.

What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

You know what I saw today?

Everything I looked at.

What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.

Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"

Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"

What do you call a sneaky child molester?

Incogpedo.

My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.

Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.

Who will be told? Oh wait.

What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

I named my horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

billie: hi.

me: You wanna hear a story?

billie: Yes, sure.

me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.