Joke jokes

What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

A field of cotton waiting to be picked.

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!

What do you call a sneaky child molester?

Incogpedo.

"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"

Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.

A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.

Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?

Because he lost May!

How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.

I know I'm valuable.

I come with a barcode.

What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?

They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂

Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?

A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.

Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.

My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.

I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

Q: What comes before 47?

A: AK