Joke jokes
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
Memes
perfect stats
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.