Joke jokes

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?

An avalanche.

Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"

Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"

What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.

I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."

Q: What comes before 47?

A: AK

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”

A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."

What do you call a sneaky child molester?

Incogpedo.

"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"

Want to hear a joke about prostitution? Never mind, it's whoreable.

What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?

They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂

How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.

I know I'm valuable.

I come with a barcode.

Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.

Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?

A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.

If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.

But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.

One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.