Joke jokes
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
Explain bear show yourself AND STOP RUINING MY ANTI TRUMP MEMES AND JOKES A IM COPING AND C THIS IS FOR JOKES AND MEMES also you are the Simpletin
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.