If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die. But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I wont die because the potato is already dead and cant attack my immune system.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
Person: 'Doctor, doctor I've only got 50 seconds to live'
Doctor: 'Just give me a minute'
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My ex boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket check out for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
me: "comment if you love yourself and give me a reason" friends: comments give reason me: "notice how i commented nothing day later mom: let me see your tik tok me: shows her the video mom: calls suicide JK she just beat me for posting a video on her
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan ?
They both can't see their parents.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race
because they always like to come in a little behind
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them “because I’m such a noose-ance.”
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile
dark humor is like parents. not everyone gets it.
One day I told my wife that she drew her I brows too high,
She looked surprised.
What is the difference between a orphan and a blind kid
They both can’t see there parents😂😂😂😂😂
What does sex and food have in common My sister makes it better than my cousin
I know I'm valuable I come with a barcode
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs Simply because they look up to me
