Joke

Joke Jokes

What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.

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I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.

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[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?

They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂

Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?

A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”

A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."

If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.

But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.