Joke jokes

What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?

Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.

I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.

A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."

I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.

You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.

How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.

A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?

A: Carlos.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.

My name is Gunter.

Gunter Gunter is dead.

Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D

I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

Why can't blondes make ice?

They forgot the recipe.

Your head looks like a joke.

Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?

Dam.

Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.

- What did the skeleton say to his friend?

- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...

What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!