Joke jokes
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
This shit is disgusting but funny.
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.