Joke jokes
My wiener's small.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?”
Why can’t he just speak plain English?
Really bad penis joke.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.