What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
Joke Jokes
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? You cut the rope.
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.