Job jokes
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!
Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.
Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!
Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!
Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!
Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!
Jarod (🤨): Or not?
Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!
Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...
Man, I love working at an orphanage.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
So she could have someone to call daddy.
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"