Job jokes
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Meme time
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
I have so many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Do you know how to make a plumber cry?
Kill his family.
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??