Job jokes
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
I have so many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
Memes
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
Do you know how to make a plumber cry?
Kill his family.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."