Job jokes
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
What is a Care Bear's favorite job?
Take care of bears.
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
I work at a movie studio.
Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.
The team:
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
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Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
Watchdogs.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
- Sure.
Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]
Are you fin-ished with your work?
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.